Ok. Hold the phone. Before you call child protective services I need to explain what happened. My second son was only two weeks old at the time. All three of us were home alone... trying to make our way down the stairs. My 23 month old had gotten used to leaning on me to come down the stairs... but since I had the newborn in my arms.... I couldn't do it. At the top of the stairs, my toddler started to tumble. For me the whole scene happened in slow motion. I knew that if I leaned to try to grab him.... my two week old and I would have fallen too. I knew the two-week old might not survive that. So I watched in agony as my older son rolled down the stairs. I let it happen because I believed my toddler would be able to handle the fall... when my newborn couldn't. When he got to the bottom he looked at me with hurt eyes. When I got downstairs and put the baby down, I ran to him and checked his wounds and tried to explain. At 23 months, I don't think he really understood. In fact he moved on and started playing as I looked on in guilt.
That happened a long time ago. But I started looking back at that incident in a new light. I thought about God sending His only son to save my life. I imagine the pain he must have felt for His son. I imagine what it must have been like to watch the torture Jesus was put through. For me. For you. I cried out with tears of joy. Imagine having to sacrifice one child for the sins of the world.
As we approach Easter, I am SO thankful. Thankful that God thought I was worthy before I was ever born. Thankful that he gave me another chance at life... in spite of my daily slip ups and falls.
I have always believed that Jesus came and died to save me. But I don't think I realized the enormity of God's sacrifice, until now.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Lord, I thank You for Your son. I thank You for sending Him to save little old me. I think I'm finally starting to get Your love for me. I'm sorry it has taken so long.
~MDT
