Wait... Wait! Don't pray for me!

Are you like me? 

I have a life with an excellent testimony.

Triumphs and Tragedy.

Wins and Losses.

Because of God I've come a very long way.

But as much as I've grown in my faith over the years... I have one ugly secret.

I do not enjoy praying for myself or even hearing someone pray for me.

I didn't really pay attention to it before. I thought it was something unique to me...until I started telling other women. It's more common than I ever thought. And confusing.

How is it, I can pray easily for strangers.... and have such a hard time even breathing a short prayer for myself?  Why is it when a woman of faith tries to stop and pray for me, I get uncomfortable?
I don't really have an answer.

I do know it has a lot to do with God's grace... and the feeling like God's grace doesn't always apply to me. ...that any pieces of grace i get... are the leftovers that he has allowed me to have... the crumbs from the main table.

This couldn't be further from the truth.
Thank God there are no tiers of grace. No exclusive VIP club that gets past the velvet rope while others just hope to get in.
God doesn't play favorites.
And just like He takes care of that woman fighting cancer... just like He takes care of that husband who lost his job... He takes care of you.
Sometimes I don't pray about things that are important to me because I am afraid that it will look selfish or self centered. But if I am not right with myself... and right with God on my own, I can't be what He needs me to be for other people.

Matthew 7:7-8

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For EVERYONE who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Lord,
I want to be better when it comes to praying for myself. I know that I am Your child, too. Remove the spirit in me that makes me believe I'm not worthy.  Thank you for your grace... and thank you for what you do for me with or without my prayers. Amen.  
~MDT

Parking between the yellow lines

It's one of my pet peeves. You pull into a parking space and have a hard time getting out of your car because the car next to you... left you very little room to open your door and get out. Yes, they are between the yellow lines.... but barely.

I think that sometimes we can toe the line when it comes to parking in the lines. I'm talking about doing the right thing... but only the minimum. Sometimes there are days when I only do just enough. Just enough to get my job done. Just enough to clean my side of our bedroom. Just enough to fulfill a volunteer request at church. Just enough...

God calls on us to be more than just enough... because there are plenty of others who did more than enough for us. And one savior who did more than any of us could ever do.

Philippians 2:1-11 

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus... 

Lord,
I want to be "more than enough" when it comes to doing Your work. I want to be "more than enough" as a wife and mother... and as a human being. When I get lazy, light a fire in me so that I can be better.
Amen