when the lights are out.

So much can go wrong in the dark... Especially when i first wake up in the morning. I hate to admit it... but sometimes I can misjudge the edge of the bed trying to get out... and I fall to the floor.  When I get up and start trying to work my way around the room... I stub my toe on the bed rail. If I shift too far to the left as I try to grab my glasses... I often knock over my cup full of water. If I step too close to my son's play area, i inevitably break a toy. And as I try to grab something out of my chest of drawers... another stubbed toe. If I can just get to the light switch.

Rifling around in the dark is never fun. Especially when that darkness is deep in your soul. I am trying to get bolder about some of my struggles... and the fact that sometimes things get pretty dark for me. Depression can be so taboo for people.... such a dark secret.In fact, I'm getting nervous about what some of my friends will think of me even as I write this. But it is so real.

After I spend a little time rifling around in darkness.... I know I can find light and peace in God's word. It's like finding the light switch in the room.  You know the light is there. Sometimes you're not ready to get out of bed and flip the switch. And then sometimes you have such a hard time even crossing the room to get to it.  But when I pick up my Bible... even if I read only one verse... I feel like God is giving me a great big bear hug. There's no kind of comfort like it. But it's a feeling I don't get... until I go looking for it.

Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Lord, I know that my soul finds rest in You alone. But man, sometimes I really forget. I start rifling around for answers from everywhere else...but You. If I don't have the strength to do anything else... please give me the nudge I need to at least look to You.

Amen.
~MDT