Wait... Wait! Don't pray for me!

Are you like me? 

I have a life with an excellent testimony.

Triumphs and Tragedy.

Wins and Losses.

Because of God I've come a very long way.

But as much as I've grown in my faith over the years... I have one ugly secret.

I do not enjoy praying for myself or even hearing someone pray for me.

I didn't really pay attention to it before. I thought it was something unique to me...until I started telling other women. It's more common than I ever thought. And confusing.

How is it, I can pray easily for strangers.... and have such a hard time even breathing a short prayer for myself?  Why is it when a woman of faith tries to stop and pray for me, I get uncomfortable?
I don't really have an answer.

I do know it has a lot to do with God's grace... and the feeling like God's grace doesn't always apply to me. ...that any pieces of grace i get... are the leftovers that he has allowed me to have... the crumbs from the main table.

This couldn't be further from the truth.
Thank God there are no tiers of grace. No exclusive VIP club that gets past the velvet rope while others just hope to get in.
God doesn't play favorites.
And just like He takes care of that woman fighting cancer... just like He takes care of that husband who lost his job... He takes care of you.
Sometimes I don't pray about things that are important to me because I am afraid that it will look selfish or self centered. But if I am not right with myself... and right with God on my own, I can't be what He needs me to be for other people.

Matthew 7:7-8

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For EVERYONE who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Lord,
I want to be better when it comes to praying for myself. I know that I am Your child, too. Remove the spirit in me that makes me believe I'm not worthy.  Thank you for your grace... and thank you for what you do for me with or without my prayers. Amen.  
~MDT